Welcome to Thrustblog

Welcome to Thrustblog. This blog is new as of February, 2011. New posts will be added as they are completed. Our main author is Tom Rossi, but we will sometimes have guest posts and eventually maybe even another regular poster.

Comments will be moderated, mostly to prevent spam and threats of violence or anything just completely whacked-out. However, I will publish comments that strongly disagree with my posts. I believe in free speech and open discussion. Debate lies at the heart of civilization.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

California Proposition 8 - The Defense of Marriage Act and Same Sex Marriage


It's true that I have had a few gay friends, and maybe more of my friends were either gay and I just didn't know about it, or they were struggling with their own feelings and weren't sure themselves. But the reason I'm against California's Proposition 8, the so-called “Defense of Marriage Act” (it bans same-sex marriage, essentially), has nothing to do with my personal relationships... I simply don't get it. How, exactly is gay marriage supposed to hurt me, my marriage, or my country?

I'm a man very lucky to be married to a wonderful woman. Other people get married in other places all the time, and it doesn't impact me nor my marriage. If two people of the same gender love each other and want to marry each other, how will my marriage be affected? Am I supposed to say, “Dammit! If gay people are getting married, I'm disillusioned with the whole thing! Forget it!” That wouldn't make much sense, would it?

Besides, the “institution” of marriage is FAR from pure as blue flame anyway. If marriage were a divine, perfect union, each and every one directly ordained by heaven, would the divorce rates be so high? The divorce rate in the United States for first marriages is 41% (by the way, it's highest in the “red” states in “middle” America). The rates are much higher for second, and especially third marriages (and all of these divorces place a huge burden on the courts and therefore taxes). It seems that the “institution” of marriage is under attack by heterosexuals, not homosexuals.

But the biggest reason I'm against Proposition 8 is that gay marriage is none of my f#**%#& business. If two people love each other and want to be officially together, how is it my place to decide if I approve of that particular union? In the phrase “gay people”, there is a huge glaring keyword – “people”. Lots of people everywhere do things that I don't want to do and things I don't want to see. But if they are consenting adults making informed choices, then it's not my concern – period.

I have to admit, and I know that this makes me a bad guy in some people's eyes, that I don't like to see gay, let's call them “activities”. I'm not too crazy at all about seeing men act affectionately toward one another. I'm sorry, but it's a gut reaction that I can't control. But that feeling does not give me nor anyone else the right to say, “You can't do that.” Heck, I don't like mustard either. It kind of grosses me out. Does that mean that I should try to get a law passed that says other people can't eat mustard?

-Tom Rossi

TB

Copyright Thrustblog, 2011

4 comments:

  1. I'm 68 and I'm gay. I came out of my marrage at age 47 and despite my own feelings found it uncomfortable to see two men kissing? Why was that? For the same reason possibly that TB has a negative gut reaction to seeing two men act affectionately towards one another - he just has not seen much of it! Now after 21 years living an out gay life, seeing two men kiss or hold hands seems very natural to me and I think if more straight people saw more gay people being just who there are...then there would be no negative gut reactions. In the stream of things, its only very recently that gay has even been a fit topic on TV and other media....give it time and we will all blend and no-one will much pay attention to open affection between gay folks.

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  2. Jonathan EdwardsMarch 6, 2011 at 2:17 AM

    Please allow me to respectfully (perhaps a bit disrespectfully) disagree with you and to point out what I believe is one of the true failings of current American democracy.

    First, a tangent. I am completely in favour of gay marriage. The idea that one class of citizens who engage in a (distasteful or otherwise) legal practice should remain outside the complete protection of the law is abhorrent. We are a nation of tolerance, self-determination and personal freedom and to restrict those is not only wrong it is un-American. We must, wherever possible live up to the highest of our principles and the support of gay marriage is an example of one of these.

    Now, my criticism: let me reiterate some of the phrases you employed in your rather circuitous route toward supporting(?) this position.

    “But the biggest reason I'm against Proposition 8 is that gay marriage is none of my f#**%#& business.”

    Wrong. You are an active participant in a representative democracy. Prop 8 was on the ballot and passed and is now a law that you live under. I would say that makes it very much your business.

    “If two people love each other and want to be officially together, how is it my place to decide if I approve of that particular union?”

    Because, you are a member of this democracy and you have a right and a responsibility to voice your feelings about these issues, even, and especially, if that voice says gay marriage is ok and we should let those people get on with what they wish to do.

    “Lots of people everywhere do things that I don't want to do and things I don't want to see. But if they are consenting adults making informed choices, then it's not my concern – period.”

    Wrong. People may consent to manufacture drugs, they may consent to murder another human being, they may consent to homosexual relations, they may consent to robbery, they may consent to assisted suicide, they may consent to all sorts of things. It is your job as an informed member of the American polis to determine where the law may and may not intrude upon these acts.

    “But that feeling does not give me nor anyone else the right to say, “You can't do that.” Heck, I don't like mustard either. It kind of grosses me out. Does that mean that I should try to get a law passed that says other people can't eat mustard?”

    Wrong. Your feelings, your prejudices (for or against) your life experiences and your citizenship give you not only the right but more importantly the responsibility to stand up and say ‘I support this’ or ‘I oppose that’. To do otherwise is to throw away the greatest gift we have as Americans: the ability to shape our own future.

    I am sorry to say this, but your opinion piece was just one of the more offensive and obvious examples of the modern American psyche: The desire to equivocate, the need for approval on both sides, the wishy-washyness that prevents us from standing up to authoritarianism and evil wherever we find it. If you believe that gay marriage should be allowed then stand-up for your beliefs, if you find it offensive then condemn it, but for the sake of all that makes you a member of democracy refuse the trap that you seem to have fallen into: The abdication of your citizenship responsibilities.

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  3. Dave and Jonathan, Thanks for your great comments. I'm just figuring out how to respond on the blogger system. Please forgive the delay.
    -Tom

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  4. Jonathan, it seems to have worked. Your comment was very well though out. I have to disagree with your assessment of my "wishy-washy" position, however. I think the post made it clear that I'm opposed to prop 8 and similar legislation. This IS how I'm standing up for what I beleive! I'm not going to go shoot anybody, nor chain myself to a pillar at the capital building, no. But Putting my opinion out there for all to see is my preferred method.

    I agree with you, on the other hand, that American's tend to just sit around and bitch while accepting all sorts of insults from different sources of power - government and big business. Now, that being said, go turn on "Friends" on your TV and stop thinking about all this stuff. Soma, soma, soma...
    -Tom

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